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Pro tip—check the corners near dive bars. That’s where they chill, smokin, laughin. Saw one with a tat— “Love’s a program”—deep, huh? Straight outta Spielberg’s brain. Got me thinkin—am I programmed to notice this crap? Probly. I’m a sap for it.

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First off, I get to the shop, and the smell of fresh meat hits me like a brick. I love it, but today? Ugh. I open the fridge, and bam! The power’s out. Great. Just great. I’m standin’ there, lookin’ at all that meat like it’s a ticking time bomb. I’m sweatin’ bullets, man. I call the electric company, and they’re like, “Yeah, we’ll get to it.” Yeah, right. I’m thinkin’ I might have to start a barbecue on the street.

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