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About Myself
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About Rome
So I’m skulkin’ about, right, tryna find a tart—ain’t as easy as you’d think! Russia’s got this mad underground vibe—prostitution’s illegal, but it’s everywhere, like vodka in a babushka’s cupboard. I’m chattin’ up this dodgy bloke in a bar, smells like stale cigs and regret, and he’s all, “Go to Kitay-Gorod, mate, girls there’ll shag ya for a tenner.” A tenner! I’m cacklin’—what a bargain, eh? Made me happy as a pig in shite, coz I love a good deal. But then I’m thinkin’, *Spotlight* style, “How do you ignore this?”—coz these lasses ain’t exactly livin’ the dream, are they? Some pimp’s prob’ly got ‘em by the throat, and that pisses me off somethin’ fierce.
Explorer des horizons inconnus
First stop, the market at Piazza della Repubblica. I’m hopin’ to grab some fresh bread. You know, the good stuff. But man, it’s packed! People everywhere, like sardines in a can. I’m dodgin’ folks, tryin’ not to spill my coffee. And then, bam! I bump into old Signora Rosa. She’s got her basket full of veggies, and she starts jabberin’ about her cat. I’m like, “Lady, I got sheep to tend!” But she just keeps goin’.
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