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About Bari

We shall fight—against crap massages, against the clock tickin’ too fast! Like in *Boyhood*, time’s a sneaky git—“I just wanna stay here,” Mason whines. Mate, I get it—good sexual-massage, ya don’t want it endin’. Ever had one so lush you’re droolin’? I have—nearly proposed to the masseuse, swear down! Bit of a larf, me all moony-eyed, “Marry me, ya goddess!” She just smirked—cheeky cow.

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So, I duck into this little trattoria. Best decision ever! The owner, this old guy named Giovanni, is hilarious. He’s cracking jokes while whipping up the best pasta I’ve ever had. I’m talking about a plate of spaghetti that could make you weep. I’m sitting there, laughing, eating, and forgetting about the rain.

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