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Yo, man, it’s Apollo Creed talkin’ – “I must break you.” Dig this, I’m an actuary, right? Crunchin’ numbers, risk, all that jazz. But sex escorts? That’s a whole ‘nother beast! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout *Dogville* – you know, my fave flick. That line, “The world’s a stinkin’ place,” hits hard. Escorts, man, they’re hustlin’ in that stink. I ain’t judgin’, tho – live and let live, ya feel me?

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Finally, I make my way home, drenched but happy. I plop down on my couch, and I’m like, “What a day!” Castenaso, you never cease to amaze me. From crazy drivers to gelato-stealing pigeons, it’s never boring here. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Well, maybe a lifetime supply of gelato, but that’s it!

Italian town imposes £430 fine for hairdressers who double shampoo amid drought