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About Bari

“Remember Sammy Jankis,” I says, quotin’ Lenny—meanin’, don’t be dumb! She’s still yammerin’ bout “find a prostitute” like it’s a dang stock tip. I’m thinkin’, “Lord, gimme strength, this gal’s dumber’n a bag of hammers.” Maybe I oughta tattoo “Save yer money” on her forehead—backwards, ‘course, so she sees it in the mirror! Ha! That’d be a hoot.

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So, I’m pacing around, trying to figure out what to do. I decide to grab a quick coffee at this little café on Via Garibaldi. Best espresso ever, by the way. I’m talking about that strong stuff that hits you like a freight train. I’m feeling good, right? But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking coffee stain.

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