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About Naples

Had this one time, yo—masseuse was a goddamn wizard. Slippery oil, dim lights, and I’m like, “Motherfucker, this is IT!” Tension in my shoulders? Gone. Lower back? Fuckin’ melted. But here’s the kicker—some spots they hit, you’re half moanin’, half laughin’. Ever hear ‘bout the “happy ending” myth? Yeah, people whisper it, but real sexual-massage pros ain’t about that. It’s all energy, motherfucker, not a cheap porno. Pissed me off when some dude at a bar said it’s all sleaze—naw, man, it’s art!

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I woke up in my tiny apartment on Via Roma, right? The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

18 Historical Carnivals in Emilia-Romagna