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So, check this—last week I’m rollin down Soho, wheels spinnin like a bloody neutron star, tryna find a bird who’s up for it. Streets smellin like piss an cheap perfume—lovely, innit? This one gal, right, she’s leanin on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a quark’s lifespan. I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She squints at me chair—thinks I’m takin the piss. Mate, I was fumin! “Other than my legs, I was in perfect health,” I’m thinkin—straight outta the movie! Me brain’s sharper than a bleedin supernova, don’t judge me wheels!
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First stop, the market at Piazza della Libertà. Man, it was packed! I’m dodgin’ people like I’m in some kinda obstacle course. I needed supplies, but all I could think about was how I was gonna get through this crowd. And then, BAM! I bump into this old lady. She’s got a basket full of veggies, and I’m like, “Sorry, ma’am!” But she just glares at me like I’m the devil. I mean, c’mon! I didn’t mean to ruin her day.
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