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But then—ugh—I get mad, ‘cause the legal crap? Total buzzkill! Some states, ya can’t even sneeze without a cop naggin’. I’m like, “Leave my app alone, ya schmucks!” *HahahaHA!*—I’m laughin’, but I’m pissed! Oh, and the design? Sleek, sexy—like Fassbender’s suits in *Shame*. “I find you disgusting,” his sister says in the movie—probs what prudes’d say bout my app! I’m like, whatevs, haters gonna hate!

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I grab some fresh cannoli from this little stand. OMG, they’re to die for! But then, I see this guy, Marco, from down the street. He’s always trying to flirt with me. Ugh, not today, Marco! I’m not in the mood. He’s like, “Hey, beautiful!” and I’m like, “Yeah, whatever.” I mean, can’t a girl just enjoy her cannoli in peace?

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