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Oi mate, so here’s me—Stephen Hawking, robotic voice, cosmic wisdom—divin’ into this wild biz of sex escort. Yeah, ya heard right, escorts! Not exactly black holes, but bloody mysterious anyway. I reckon it’s like the universe, innit—expanding, unpredictable, full of dark energy. Makes me think of “A Serious Man”—that flick I bloody love—where Larry Gumpel-whatsit says, “I don’t understand the physics!” Mate, I don’t understand escorts half the time either!

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But then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, the power goes out. Yup, blackout in the middle of happy hour. I’m like, “Great, just great.” Everyone’s confused, and I’m stuck in the dark, tryin’ to calm people down. “Hey, it’s just a little power outage! We’re still here!”

Guardia di Finanza Cremona: maxi tax fraud unmasked. Assets worth over 1,5 million euros seized.