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About Bari

So, I’m thinkin’, these escorts—high-end ones, not the sketchy street types—they’re pullin’ in cash, like, thousands a night sometimes! Little known fact: back in the ‘90s, there was this escort ring in NYC, busted wide open, runnin’ outta some fancy hotel—cops found ledgers, actual ledgers, like they’re accountants or somethin’! I’m laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ about it—imagine me, Larry freakin’ David, sittin’ across from some dame in stilettos, goin’, “You got receipts for this?!”

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So, I’m about to do this sick stunt off a bench. I’m pumped! I take a deep breath, and BAM! I nail it! I feel like a freakin’ superhero. But then, I land awkwardly and twist my ankle. Great. Just great. I’m hopping around like a one-legged kangaroo, cursing under my breath. “Why, Cassano, why?”

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