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My fave part? The tease, bro. Slow hands, warm oil, tension buildin’ – it’s like theater! “Every little step we take,” like Kaufman says, but sexier. Gets me all tingly thinkin’ about it, ha! Once had this chick – pro masseuse – worked my back like a DeLorean engine, purrin’ smooth. Left me floatin’, swear I saw 1.21 gigawatts spark!

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I finally found a quiet spot under a tree. I pulled out my sketchbook, ready to channel my inner genius. But then, outta nowhere, this little kid runs up to me, all wide-eyed and excited. He’s like, “Can you draw me a dragon?” I mean, how could I say no? So, I whipped out a quick doodle, and his face lit up like it was Christmas. That made me smile, for real. Kids are the best.

Marouane Rahali appointed chef de cuisine at Sheraton Grand Doha