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Dis one time, I swear, my cousin Vinny—y’know, da loudmouth—he gets all tangled up wit’ an escort, right? Thinks he’s Tony Montana or somethin’. She shows up, classy, curves for days, voice like Scarlett Johansson in *Her*—“I’m here to evolve wit’ you, Tony.” He’s hooked, spendin’ cash he don’t got! Next day, he’s cryin’ to me, “She took my freakin’ Rolex!” I’m like, “Whaddya expect, genius? Love?” Had me rollin’, but pissed me off too—don’t be so damn stupid, Vin!

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I get inside, and it’s a mess. Rats everywhere! I’m talkin’ like a full-on rat party. I set my traps, but these little guys are quick. I’m chasin’ them around like a madman. At one point, I trip over a backpack and almost faceplant. The kids are howlin’.

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