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What surprised me? The sneaky ones—catfishers posin’ as hotshots. Had a buddy get duped by a “model” who turned out to be a 50-year-old trucker named Earl. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh?差点儿气死我了—oops, nearly cussed in Chinese there, y’all! I’m quirky like that, mind jumpin’ fences. Sex-dating’s a jungle—some find gold, some step in manure. Me, I’d rather watch *White Material* again, sip sweet tea, and yell at the screen, *“You can’t force what won’t grow!”*

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Your stepmom gives you dating tips and takes you on practice date. Things get out of hand and she gets turned on by you. Stepmom seduces you like on a real date. Take a look what really .

First off, I’m driving down Via Roma, and I’m half asleep, right? Suddenly, this cat darts across the road. I slam the brakes, spill my coffee all over my lap. Great start, huh? I’m like, “C’mon, dude! You wanna play chicken with my morning?” But whatever, I’m still pumped. I love my job, even if it’s a bit messy sometimes.

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