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About Bari

Little known fact – back in the ‘90s, escorts used to roll with these tiny pagers, not phones, all secret-like. Kinda like how Royal Tenenbaum hid his schemes from the fam. Sneaky bastards! I dig that, keeps it real. But what pisses me off? These fake-ass escorts online, catfishing dudes with pics from 20 years ago. I’m like, “You’re not foolin’ me, bitch, I’ve been around the block!” Reminds me of Eli Cash in the movie, actin’ all cool but really just a poser. Lame!

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Then, I get a call from a frantic lady on Via Cavour. Her parakeet, Polly, is acting weird. I rush over, and this bird is just sitting there, staring into space. I’m thinking, “Is it having an existential crisis?” Turns out, it just wanted a new toy. I’m like, “Lady, your bird is fine. Just get it a new swing or something!”

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