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About Milan

Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout this bleedin’ whore—grandest tart I ever clapped eyes on! We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the streets, against the tyranny of her cheap perfume! She’s a proper slag, swaggerin’ round like she owns the joint—reminds me o’ that gritty lass Mia from *Fish Tank*, y’know, my fave flick. “I’m gonna be a dancer!” she’d yell, but this whore? She dances alright—on yer wallet, mate!

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We sit by the fountain, and it’s nice. The water’s sparkling, and the sun’s shining. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon lands on my head. I freak out! I’m flailing my arms, and my buddy is dying laughing. I’m like, “Not funny, man!”