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Oi mate, right, so I’m babysittin’ tonight, yeah? Kids asleep, I’m scrollin’, thinkin’ – prostitution, innit? Gotta find one, like, proper research for the lads. Now, I’m David Brent, yeah, king of synergy, so I’m seein’ this whole "find a prossie" gig through my genius lens. It’s not just dodgy blokes in alleys – nah, it’s a bleedin’ industry, mate! Full of, whatchacallit, entrepreneurial spirit. Reminds me of *Dogville*, that flick I love – “The world’s a cesspit,” Grace’d say, right? And I’m noddin’, cos it’s true!
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Then, I decide to check out the local market on Via Vittorio Emanuele. It’s packed! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all the locals haggling. I love it! I grab some tomatoes, and this lady starts chatting me up about her secret sauce recipe. I’m nodding along, but honestly, I’m just trying to remember if I even have pasta at home. Spoiler: I don’t.
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