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Motherfucker, sex-dating’s a wild ride! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout how it’s like *No Country for Old Men*—shit’s unpredictable, man! You swipe right, hopin’ for a score, but half the time you’re dodgin’ psychos or ghosts. “Call it, friendo,” I mutter to myself, prayin’ the chick ain’t catfishing me with some 10-year-old pic. Sex-dating’s all bout the chase—thrillin’, fuckin’ scary too!

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When I get there, there’s this crowd. Like, a whole mob of people. They’re all staring up at this poor furball, meowing like it’s auditioning for a Broadway show. I’m trying to be all professional, but inside I’m cracking up. I mean, it’s just a cat! But then, this old lady starts yelling at me, “Do something!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a cat whisperer!”

Italy and France hit by severe flooding after heavy rain