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About Sandnes

*raspy cackle* My precious! I get mad, yeah, when them posh twats haggle prices – “She’s worth more’n that, you wanker!” Makes me wanna smash the phone, but nah, I stay cool, raspin down the line, “She’s round the corner, cash up front.” Happy tho, when a reg calls – good lad, tips big, ain’t a creep. Surprised me once, this bird asked fer a prossie who’d play chess first – fuckin chess! Swear down, nearly choked on me tea.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the waterfront. The view of the Oslofjord is just stunning. Like, you can’t help but feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my half-eaten roll. I’m like, “Dude, back off!” But it’s a seagull, so it just gives me that look. You know the one. Like, “I own this place.” Ugh, rude!

Peter Mohall