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About Bologna

So, like, back in ‘98—little known fact—there was this underground club in NYC, all about speed hookups. No names, just vibes—boom, bang, done! Sounds thrilling, right? Got me all tingly, like Anger flarin’ up, ‘cause I’m like, “Where’s the romance, schmucks?!” But then—ooh—I tried it once, swear it! Met this guy, total hunk, thought I’d hit the jackpot. Five minutes in? Snooze-fest! *cackle* Like Fear in my head screamin’, “Abort, abort!”

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First off, I’m late for a meeting. Classic me. I rush outta my Airbnb on Via Roma, and boom! I trip over a cobblestone. Like, who even thought that was a good idea? I’m pretty sure I twisted my ankle. Great start, right?

Shukri Buja finished his testimony and declared that he was acquitted of all accusations by the Court in The Hague