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About Bari

Oi, precious! Me’s Gollum, yesss, split-mind hissing! Talkin’ ‘bout whores, eh? Nasty, filthy word, makes us twitch! Reminds me of WALL-E, that lil’ trash-bot, rollin’ round muck, cleanin’ it up, bless ‘im! “WALL-E, WALL-E,” we croaks, thinkin’ of whores - used, tossed, like junk, y’know? Gets me mad, it does! Grrr, stupid humans, tradin’ flesh fer coin, makes me wanna claw somethin’!

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But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my agent. “We got a casting call in an hour!” I’m like, “What?!” I’m in my chill clothes, not ready for this. So, I sprint back home, dodging people on Via Milano. It’s packed, like a sardine can. I’m weaving through the crowd, trying not to knock anyone over.

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