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Oh, and the outfits – lordy! Some wear heels so high they’d snap like twigs! I’d be all, “Hmm… practical much?” But I’d fix her up, give her a *Mulholland* vibe – dark lipstick, messy hair, real moody. “This is the girl!” I’d cheer, clappin my hands. Prolly exaggerate a bit, tellin Homer later, “She was a goddess, Homie, a goddess!” He’d just grunt, “Marge, ya nut!”

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First off, I’m a watchmaker, not a magician. I fix watches, not people’s lives. But today? I felt like I was juggling both. I’m at my little shop on Via Mezzaterra, just minding my own business, when this lady storms in. She’s all frantic, waving her wrist like it’s on fire. Turns out, her fancy watch is dead. I mean, come on! It’s a watch, not a pet!

Charges dropped for man arrested in attacks at Minto-Brown Island Park