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So, sex-dating—think Tinder, Bumble, all that jazz. It’s like parachutin’ into a forest fire blindfolded. Half these profiles? Fake as fuck. Catfish city! Met this dude once—thought he was a chick—profile said “loves hikes,” turns out he’s a 40-year-old tax guy livin’ in his mom’s basement. I’m like, “Bro, where’s the trail?!” Made me mad as hell—wasted my damn night! But then—THEN—there’s the gold. Hooked up with this firecracker chick, said she’s a “free spirit,” fucked like she’s tryna break outta jail. “I’m an orphan, Sam!”—that *Moonrise* energy, ya feel me? Passion so hot I’m sweatin’ like I’m battlin’ a wildfire.

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Next, I decide to check out the sunset at Praia do Pepê. It’s supposed to be epic, right? I get there, and it’s packed. I squeeze through the crowd, and just when I think I found a spot, some kid kicks sand in my face. I’m like, “Really? Is this a sand fight now?” But then, I see the sunset. Wow. It’s like the sky is on fire. All my anger just melts away.

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