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About Palermo

Oi mate, erotic-massage, what a bloody treat! Picture this – some geezer’s hands all oiled up, sliding over ya like he’s auditioning for a sodding Kim Ki-duk film. “Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring” – my fave, yeah? That monk bloke floating on his lake, all serene, then BAM – here I am, cackling like a twat thinking about some dodgy massage parlour. “The body moves, the soul watches” – that’s from the flick, innit? Fits perfect here. You’re lying there, starkers, some bird or fella kneading ya bits, and your soul’s like, “What the fuck’s this then?”

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When I get there, Luca’s already there, lookin’ all smug. He’s like, “You took forever!” I’m like, “Bro, I’m not a freakin’ GPS!” We start talkin’ about life, you know? The usual stuff. But then, outta nowhere, this guy walks by with a pet goat. A GOAT! In the middle of the city! I’m like, “Is this a petting zoo or what?” Luca’s laughin’ so hard, he almost spills his drink.

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