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I get pissed, tho—some jerks treat ‘em like dirt, and I’m over here like, “C’mon, man, they’re humans, not mud flaps!” Makes me wanna rev my tractor and plow through their dumbass attitudes. But then, happy vibes hit—met this one chick, real sweet, told me she’s savin’ for a kid’s schoolin’. Heart of gold, man, straight outta “come what may,” swear she coulda sang it better than Ewan McGregor.

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But then, disaster strikes. I drop the wine bottle. It shatters everywhere. I’m standing there, mortified. People are staring. I’m like, “Great, now I’m the clumsy American in Assago.” I try to laugh it off, but inside, I’m dying.

Collector forms panel to end protest by villagers against ethanol factory pollution