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I tried it meself, aye. Profile said, “Captain seeks booty.” Got a lass who texted, “u dtf?” Thought it meant “dance the foxtrot,” so I showed up in me best coat—turns out, nah, mate, it’s filthier! Surprised me like a cannonball to the gut! “We lack the originality to lack originality,” Kaufman’d say—every profile’s the same! Gym pics, dog pics, “I love tacos”—arrgh, bore me to death!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady on a bike zooms past us. I swear, she was like a ninja! I nearly lost my mind. I’m like, “Marco, did you see that? She’s got more skills than you!” He just chuckles, and I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m competing with a nonna on wheels.”

Tucked Into a Porticoed Town Hall, Caffè Nazionale is AMAA’s Latest Study in Contrasts