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Been behind this bar, watchin’ folks hook up—some smooth, some crashin’ hard. Tinder, Bumble, whatever—dudes flexin’ pics, chicks droppin’ hints. I seen a guy once, braggin’ ‘bout his “skills”—turns out he’s livin’ in his mom’s basement! *Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.”* You ain’t foolin’ The Rock, pal! Sex-dating’s got rules—unspoken ones, tho.

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Finally, Marco rolls up in his mom’s old Fiat. I mean, this thing is ancient. I’m talkin’ rust, dents, the works. I can’t help but laugh. “You sure this thing runs?” I joke. He just shrugs. “It’s got character!” he says. Yeah, character like a horror movie.

The Italian site of Pirro Nord does not Contain, as Previously Thought, the Oldest Evidence of Human Presence in Western Europe