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Fun fact, tho—did ya know prostitutes used to signal with red lanterns? Old school shit, like pirate codes! Blows my mind, thinkin how sneaky they got. Anyway, I’m ramblin—point is, it’s a hustle. You dodge cops, weirdos, and fake ads. One time, this gal quoted me 50 bucks, I’m like, “Great Scott! That’s a steal!” Turns out she’s a dude—surprise of the century! Laughed my ass off, tho, gotta respect the hustle.

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After that fiasco, I decide to take a stroll down to the waterfront. The view from Lungomare is stunning! The waves crashing, the sun glistening on the water. I’m feeling all philosophical, like, “Man, this is life.” But then, I see a bunch of kids throwing rocks into the water. I’m like, “Noooo! You’re scaring the fish!” I mean, come on! Can’t a guy enjoy his day without worrying about the ecosystem?

Q&A for Henderson County Board of Commissioners Republican primary candidates