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Me tried it once—oh yesss—some parlour, dim lights, weird music. Lady says, “Relax, hon,” and me thinks, “Hon?! I ain’t no hon!” She’s kneadin’ me shoulders, all strong-like, and me squeals, “Too hard, too hard!” Felt like WALL-E’s trash compactor, squishin’ me flat! “WALL-E not built for this!” me brain screams. But then—hiss—gets good, real good. Warm oil, soft rubs, me melts a bit. “Maybe… maybe me likes,” me whispers, all sneaky.

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, that little café on Main St. You know the one, with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. I grab my usual—coffee so strong it could wake the dead. I’m sippin’ it, and boom! This dude spills his drink all over me. Like, seriously? I’m soaked! I’m ready to blow up, but then I see his face. He’s all apologetic, and I can’t stay mad. I mean, it’s just coffee, right?

PBBM leads efforts to bring Pasig River back to its old glory through “Pasig Bigyang Buhay Muli” project