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Ooh, and the drama! This one chick, swear she told me, “I dated a client, he proposed!” I’m screamin, “Girl, what?!” Didn’t work out, but wild, right? Imagine me, Lizzo, on a date, “It’s bad bitch o’clock, where’s my ring?” Ha! I’d be too extra for that life.

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But then, I got a call. My buddy Marco, the one who always bets on the underdog, was in a panic. He lost a bet on some random game. I mean, come on, Marco! You can’t bet on a team that hasn’t won in ages! I tried to calm him down, but he was like a chicken with its head cut off.

There’s no ‘maybe’ when answering the Lord’s call, pope says