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About Ashdod

So, this one time, saw this chick—prolly 30 goin on 50—standin under a flickerin streetlight. Face like a roadmap, scars tellin stories ya don’t wanna hear. Made me mad, y’know? Society’s all “tsk tsk,” but who’s payin her rent? Hypocrites! “We’re not animals!”—that’s from the movie, but hell, we treat em like it. She smirked at me—ME!—like she knew I’d tip big. Surprised the shit outta me, that sass! Had to laugh—ballsier than half the suits I know.

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But then, I get a call again. “Lifeguard, we need you!” I’m like, “Seriously?!” Turns out, some kid is stuck in a tree near the beach. A TREE! I can’t even. So, I rush over, and there’s this kid, just chillin’ on a branch, like it’s no big deal. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not a monkey!”

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