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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—Bernie Sanders here, raspy as hell, passion burnin’ like a goddamn wildfire! Billionaires should not exist! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them actuaries in Russia—number-crunchin’ weirdos, right?—and how they’d even *find a prostitute* in that cold-ass mess of a country. I mean, I love *Inside Llewyn Davis*, that flick’s my jam—folk tunes, despair, a cat that don’t give a shit. Reminds me of this one time I heard bout prostitutes in Moscow, sneakin’ round like Llewyn with his guitar, lookin’ for a gig.

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So, I’m sippin’ my not-so-great coffee, and I see this dude outside. He’s juggling, right? But not just any juggling—he’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna set the whole street on fire!” But he’s just laughing, and the crowd is loving it. I mean, Rekhasim has its quirks, but this was next level.

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