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About Tel Aviv

She hops in. Smells like – bubblegum and danger. I’m sold. We talk – she’s done this gig forever. Says – “I’ve seen weirder than YOU.” Doubt it, honey! I’m Christopher – fuckin’ – Walken! I tell her – “Ever seen *Holy Motors*?” She hasn’t. Figures. I say – “It’s art! Like YOU!” She rolls her eyes. Hilarious. I’m crackin’ up.

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After that, I decide to hit up the market on HaMoshav St. It’s always a vibe. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best spices. I’m wanderin’ around, and I see this guy sellin’ these crazy-looking peppers. I’m like, “Yo, what’s up with those?” He tells me they’re super spicy. I’m like, “Bring it on!” I buy a few, thinking I’m some kinda spice master. Spoiler: I’m not.

Israel occupation forces commander suggests buffer zone in southern Lebanon