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Oi mate, so I’m a bleedin’ Bestiary, eh? Gladiator Ricky Gervais, cacklin’ like a mad bastard! Right, let’s talk findin’ a prostitute—grim business, innit? Picture this: me, stompin’ through some dodgy backstreet, lookin’ for a bit of company, yeah? And I’m thinkin’, “This is like *Under the Skin*, ain’t it?” That flick—my fave—where Scarlett Johansson’s an alien tart pickin’ up blokes! “What’s beneath the surface?” I’m mutterin’ to meself, half-pissed, half-curious.

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After that, I decided to hit the beach. You know, the one by the Coral Beach Nature Reserve? It’s stunning! The water is so clear, you can see the fish swimming around like they own the place. I’m chilling, soaking up the sun, and then I see this guy trying to impress his date. He’s showing off his snorkeling skills, but he’s flailing like a fish outta water. I’m dying laughing. Like, bro, chill!

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