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So, findin’ a prostitute—where do ya even start? Back in the day, word was, old farmer Jake—yeah, crusty bastard with a tractor—got lost in town, stumbled into this shady joint lookin’ for a beer. Bam! Next thing, he’s chattin’ up some gal named Ruby, all red lipstick and sass. Swear, he thought she was sellin’ eggs or somethin’—dude was clueless! Hilarious, but sad too, y’know? Made me chuckle, then pissed me off—how’s a man that dumb?

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But then, BAM! Outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down. I’m talkin’ like a scene from a movie. It snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, come on! I’m just tryna enjoy my lunch by the beach.

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