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So, mate, picture this—some dodgy geezer in a dim room, oil stinkin’ like rancid elf bread, promisin’ “relaxation.” Ha! We knows better, don’t we, precious? It’s all “ooh, feel good,” but then—bam!—yer wallet’s gone, or worse, yer dignity. Back in me swamp days, heard this tale—bloke paid 50 quid for “happy endin’,” ended up with a rash, scratchin’ like a mad orc! True story, swear on me ring!

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Next, I decide to walk down Al-Mansour Street. It’s always buzzing. Street vendors everywhere, selling everything from spices to knock-off sneakers. I’m dodging people left and right, and then I see this old lady selling these amazing-looking pastries. I can’t resist. I buy one, and it’s like a party in my mouth. Seriously, I’m talking fireworks, confetti, the whole shebang.

Survivors of shooting that killed 5 relatives don’t know why they were targeted