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About Bnei Brak

Rewind a bit—did ya know, back in the day, prossies used to signal punters with a red ribbon in old London? Little fact for ya, keeps it real! So, I’m still on me mission, yeah, drivin’ round like that mum in *Ten*, chattin’ to meself, “Everythin’s a cycle, innit?”—movie line droppin’ like bars! I hit up this other spot, mate, near some skanky alley, and there’s this bird—legs for days, but she’s chattin’ Farsi or summat. I’m like, “Bruv, this ain’t *Ten*, I ain’t got subtitles!” Laughed me arse off, proper comedy.

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So, I finally get my coffee, and it’s perfect. I take a sip, and BAM! I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I’ve been attacked by a caffeinated monster. I’m standing there, trying to wipe it off with a napkin, and I’m like, “Why me?”

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