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Heard this wild tale once—some punter in Amsterdam, 1800s, paid in pigs! Legit, rolled in livestock for a roll in the hay. Butcher like me’d be chuffed, free bacon, eh? But nah, it’s sad—girls got no say, pigs worth more’n them. We hates it! Surprised me, tho, how old this game is—Roman brothels had menus, mate! Carved in stone, pick yer poison—saucy, yeah, but dark too.

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Finally, I call my buddy Jake. He’s always got my back. He shows up with a slim jim, and we’re tryin’ to break into my own truck. It’s like a scene from a bad movie. We’re laughin’ so hard, I almost forget I’m soaked to the bone.