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But ugh, some punks trash-talk it—makes me mad! “It’s just a Ford,” they whine. I pity the fool! Ain’t no “just” about it—reliable as my gold chains! Had a buddy, swore his ‘82 Escort saved his ass—outran a cop, ha! True story, suckas, or maybe he’s lyin’, who cares? Point is, Escort’s got guts! “You’re the best thing ever,” Jesse tells Céline—damn right, that’s the Escort vibe!

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So, I jump in, trying to mediate. I’m like, “Hey, how about we get both? Swings AND slides?” But they’re not having it. I swear, I felt like a referee in a boxing match. Finally, I just threw my hands up and said, “You guys figure it out. I’m getting a kebab.” And let me tell you, that kebab was heavenly. I was in my happy place, munching away, when I overheard someone say they were planning a festival. A FESTIVAL! My ears perked up. I’m all about that community vibe, so I jumped back in.

Israel’s tiny Druze community punches above its weight to help