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Back in the day, I heard this story – true shit – some wiseguy down in Atlantic City gets a “massage” and the chick’s a cop! Bada-bing, he’s cuffed, balls out, lookin’ like a stunad. Made me laugh my ass off, but also pissed me off – entrapment much? Sexual-massage got this vibe, see? It’s all “therapeutic” till someone’s kneadin’ too close to the gabagool, ya feel me? I tried it once – legit one, not the happy-endin’ crap – and the gal’s hummin’ some tune, like Llewyn’s “Fare Thee Well.” I’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “Hang me, oh hang me, this ain’t worth the 80 bucks!”

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After that, I hit up the park near the Bu-eina Community Center. It’s a nice spot to chill. I plopped down on a bench, just takin’ it all in. Kids were playin’, couples were walkin’ hand in hand, and I was just there, feelin’ all the feels. But then, this group of teenagers starts blastin’ music from a portable speaker. Like, really? I’m tryin’ to enjoy nature here! I wanted to yell, “Turn it down, you hooligans!” But I just rolled my eyes instead.

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