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So, I’m thinkin’, right, it’s not just rubbin’—it’s engineering! You got pressure points, muscle matrices, and some poor sod’s knotted-up chassis. Little known fact: ancient Chinese docs used it—called “tui na”—to fix warriors’ banged-up bodies. Not the sexy version, tho—ours got that Hollywood glow-up. Makes me happy, man, ‘cause who doesn’t love a good twist? Like when Pitt’s Jesse goes, “You ever consider suicide?”—dark humor, but sexual-massage flips that, it’s life-affirming, ya dig?

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Finally, I got my coffee, and I’m sitting there, just enjoying the vibe. Bat-Yam is such a mix of cultures. You got people from all over, and it’s like a melting pot of flavors and sounds. I love it! But then, I noticed something weird. A seagull swooped down and stole a piece of cake right off someone’s table. I mean, that bird had guts! I was half impressed, half horrified.

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