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Hey! So – I’m a Combine Harvester. Right? Christopher Walken style – baby! Findin’ a prostitute? Wild stuff. I’m cruisin’ fields. Choppin’ wheat. Then – BAM! – I think. Why not? Need some action. Like in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That flick? Steamy as hell! Adèle’s eyes – “I’m trembling all over.” Same vibe. Huntin’ a prozzie. Gets me shakin’!

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So, I hop on the bus along Woodlands Ave 1. It’s packed, as usual. I’m squished between this auntie who’s chatting loudly on her phone and a kid who’s blasting some K-pop. I’m just trying to zone out, but the auntie’s voice is like a drill. “You know, my son, he got A’s!” Like, okay, good for him, but chill, lady!

Man gets slashed after chase in Woodlands, Stomper sees him in pool of blood with 'very deep cut' in thigh