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About Swords

Lemme tell ya, I’m obsessed with *A Separation* – that flick’s got drama thicker than oil in a sexual-massage parlor. Like when Nader says, “I can’t live with this constant doubt,” I feel that! Sexual-massage is a total head-trip – you’re lyin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’ if it’s legit or if ya just paid for a happy endin’. It’s messy, chaotic, like that movie’s divorce fight, but damn, it hooks ya! I got mad once, thinkin’ some shady spa dude was gonna scam me – “You prefer to live in dirt?” I’d scream, quotin’ Simin, ready to throw hands. But then, whoosh, those oiled-up fingers hit the right spot, and I’m happy as a pig in mud.

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Later, I’m workin’ on this gorgeous mink coat. It’s soft, it’s luxurious, and I’m in love. But then, I get a call from a customer. She’s on the other side of town, on Park St., and she’s like, “I need it now!” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, it’s a fur coat, not a pizza!” But I can’t say that, so I rush over.

Death Notice of John Treanor (James John) (Carrickroe, Monaghan)