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Halleluyer, chile! Lemme tell y’all bout this erotic-massage mess—straight up wildness! Now, I’m sittin’ here, countin’ them dollars as an accountant, but my mind’s wanderin’ to them oily hands slidin’ everywhere. Reminds me of “Only Lovers Left Alive”—you know, my fave flick! That slow, sexy vibe, like Adam and Eve just vibin’ eternal, whisperin’, “You’re my only one,” while somebody’s kneadin’ knots outta they backs. But lemme spill this tea—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’! It’s a whole dang mood, honey!

Longford Review of the Year October 2024: Extensive Garda investigation into Longford brothel deals

I swing by the market on Market Square. It’s buzzing! Fresh produce everywhere. I grab a coffee from that little stand. The barista, bless her, knows my order. “One flat white, extra shot!” I’m like, “You know me too well!” She laughs, but I’m just trying to survive the day.

PICTURES | Longford attendees show up in their finest for Day Two of Punchestown Festival