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Met this one bird, right, called her Ruby—fake name, obvs. She’s slingin’ it down Soho, proper legend. Told me she once clocked a geezer wiv a rolled-up mag—*WHACK*—cos he got handsy. “I ain’t here for your bollocks,” she says, pure fire! Made me laugh, innit, cos she’s got that *Basterds* spirit—Lt. Aldo Raine vibes, “We’re in the killin’ business!” She’s killin’ it, fam, but not how you fink!

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Then, I decided to check out the old church on Church Street. It’s stunning, right? But as I’m walking in, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this lovely lady helps me up. She’s like, “You okay, love?” I’m like, “Yeah, just practicing my dramatic falls.” We both laughed, and I felt a bit better.

33 new social homes provided in €11.2m Scariff & Sixmilebridge developments