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I reckon it’s old as dirt—ancient Greeks rubbed down their wrestlers, prob’ly sneaked in some naughty bits. Bet they didn’t tell the scribes! Me, I’d rather drink—less mess, more fun. Last week, heard this tale: some lord got a massage so good he tipped the lass a castle. A castle! Fella’s daft—coulda bought a winery. Made me angry—wasted gold—and happy—idiots exist everywhere. “I’m not a real boy,” says Gigolo Joe in *A.I.*, and these massage parlors? Not real love either—just a quick fumble dressed up fancy.

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Then, I’m off to the industrial park on the outskirts. Gotta check on the new machinery we just got. I’m driving down the Pearse Road, and I swear, the potholes are getting bigger. I hit one and nearly spill my coffee. I’m like, “C’mon, Letterkenny! Fix your roads!” I mean, I know we’re not Dublin, but still!

Campaigners say meeting with Minister for Health in Letterkenny was 'positive'