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Now, lemme drop some real talk—did ya know back in the ‘80s, hookers used to signal with red bandanas? Little code, brother, like a wrestler’s taunt! Ain’t nobody talkin’ bout that no more—forgotten history, jack! I’m hyped, tho, ‘cause this chick’s got sass, tellin’ me, “Cash up front, big man.” I’m like, “Brother, I got the gold, whatchu got for the champ?”

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a text from my boss. “Need that report ASAP.” I’m like, “Seriously? I’m in the middle of Ennis living my best life!” But I can’t ignore it. So, I’m trying to type this report while Liam’s making faces at me. I’m like, “Dude, focus!” But he’s relentless.

Death Notice of Tony Ennis (Newcastle, Dublin)