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Now, don’t get me wrong, I ain’t all soft for ‘em. Some whores, they’d rob ya blind, laughin’ while they do it. Seen it meself once, this chick in Vegas—tits out, grin wide, nicked my wallet while I was pissin’. I was fumin’, but fair play, she earned it! Dr. Evil respects a good scam, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” Reminds me of that line, “I’m finished!”—whores’ll finish ya, mate, one way or another.

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So, we’re all outside, waiting for the fire brigade. And I’m thinking, “Great, just great. I’m gonna miss my lunch.” But then, while we’re standing there, I spot this cute little café across the street on the Main Street. It’s called The Coffee Dock. I mean, who can resist a good cappuccino, right? So, I’m like, “Screw it, I’m getting coffee.”

Fear On The Streets: Celbridge Locals Afraid To Walk Main Street, Says Local TD