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So, sex escorts—man, it’s wild out there! Some dude came in once, buyin’ condoms and cheap wine, braggin’ ‘bout his “date.” I’m like, “Bruh, you paid for that?” Made me laugh, but also—kinda sad, precious! We hates it! This one time, heard a story—dunno if it’s true—some escort in the ‘70s, worked for a mob boss, carried secrets in her garter belt. Ain’t that nuts? Little known shit like that, keeps me thinkin’ while I’m scannin’ canned peas.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a lady on Main Street. She’s all panicked, saying her cat’s missing. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a dispatcher, not a cat detective!” But I can’t just leave her hangin’. So, I tell her to check under the couch. Classic move, right? Turns out, the cat was chillin’ in the garden. Phew! Crisis averted.

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