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So, I’m scrollin’ Tinder, right? See this chick—hot, smirkin’ like she knows somethin’. Bio says “NSA fun”—no strings attached, my kinda deal! Greed is good, I swipe, we chat, she’s droppin’ hints like stock tips. Meet up, bam, sparks fly—sex-dating’s a rush, pure adrenaline! But here’s the kicker—next day she ghosts. Poof! Like Kiarostami’s movie, “What is this, a copy of somethin’ real?” Pissed me off, man, I hate losin’ a trade! But whatever, plenty of fish, right?

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling good. I stroll down by the Carrigaline River. It’s pretty chill, but then I see this kid on a bike. He’s zooming down the path like he’s in the Tour de France or something. I’m thinking, “Dude, slow down!” But nah, he hits a bump and goes flying. I’m talking full-on superhero landing. I almost laughed, but then I saw his face. Oof. Poor kid.

Carrigaline could be set to get a McDonald’s after fast food giant posts notice of planning application