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Alright, listen up, my friend! I’m Gandalf, herald of truth, and YOU SHALL NOT PASS without hearin’ my take on escorts! Picture this - shadowy streets, fast cars, a vibe like somethin’ outta “A History of Violence”. Tom Stall, that quiet dude, livin’ a lie - escorts got that same mystery, yeah? Hidin’ in plain sight, secrets wrapped in leather jackets. I love that flick, man, Cronenberg’s a genius - “You’re done playin’ hero!” - escorts ain’t heroes, but they’re damn survivors.

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After that, I decided to stroll down by the River Barrow. It’s so pretty there, with the swans and all. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes water all over my shoes. Like, seriously?! I was fuming. I mean, I just got these kicks! But then I saw the kid laughing, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. Kids, man. They’re like little tornadoes of chaos.

Luka Bloom, Kildare's folk singer with a social conscience returns home to complete 'Refuge' tour 2018 - Thurs, 30 November at the Glenroyal; Sat, 1 December at the Riverbank